How To Be Confident Even When Sh*t Hits The Fan
Have you ever watched on as someone walked right up to the very person you were just talking to and asked for their number?
Have you ever been at a meeting at work or a class at school with a million questions…
But instead of raising your hand you simply hope someone else will ask what you are thinking for you?
What about asking your boss for a raise?
You dreaded it for days on end to finally decide not to even ask because you think maybe you don’t deserve it or you aren’t ready or that your boss will be upset with you?
All these situations are missing one key aspect… Confidence.
Confidence Is Not Something You’re Born With
So many people believe confidence is simply something you are born with.
Think of those people you know or even watch on TV that seem to be fearless no matter the situation.
They must just be inherently confident, right?
They are probably better looking than you, have more money than you, went to a better school than you, didn’t have the same struggles in life that you did, and so on and so on.
You look at them with envy wondering why you got the short end of the stick.
Well, to be perfectly honest you actually didn’t get the short end of the stick.
You are simply stuck in a place of self-doubt, which causes you to create excuses for why you can’t do something.
Instead of facing the tasks you are confronted with, you avoid them or keep putting them off.
Or maybe you do actually confront the task…
But you end up over-thinking it or remain nervous and shaky all the way through the process.
This self-doubt is truly detrimental because it affects our core belief system about ourselves.
But in all reality, you actually have every opportunity to be just as confident as those you look up to.
You have every opportunity to get all the things you want out of life.
You see, confidence is not something you are born with.
It is something that is self-taught.
It is about changing your mindset from that of self-doubt to that of believing in yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally.
This is the true key to confidence.
I Feel Pretty
I recently saw a movie that really made this concept abundantly clear.
It was Amy Schumer’s movie called “I Feel Pretty.”
On the surface it seems like a funny movie about an average woman who wakes up after hitting her head, thinks she is beautiful, and suddenly starts accomplishing all her goals and dreams.
However, it is not her beauty that suddenly makes her so confident…
It is the unwavering belief in herself that starts to make her successful.
This movie pertains to men and women of all ages because it goes beyond mere body image issues and addresses the benefits of having a mindset where you 100% believe in your-self and your abilities.
Once the main character Renee truly believes she is beautiful, she has the confidence to go after the man she wants, get the job she has always wanted, and see the best in people and situations rather than the worst.
My favorite part of the movie is actually seeing how she reacts when she fails at something.
She goes on her first date with the guy she asked out.
They stop off at a bar that is having a bikini contest, which she decides to compete in.
Her date looks nervous the whole time because he expects the average looking Renee to lose against these model type women and be distraught.
Instead, Renee rocks the bikini contest, has a great time, and has the crowd hyped up, clapping, and having a blast as well.
In the end she doesn’t win the contest and the guy she’s with expresses his sympathy by saying, “I’m sorry it didn’t go the way you wanted it to.”
She replies by saying, “No it didn’t, it went way better. We each get two free drinks and an appetizer!”
She wasn’t even phased by losing because she knew she looked good, had fun, and guess what… they even got free appetizer out of it!
She was able to see the good in the situation and be confident enough in herself and her abilities to not let losing a contest make her doubt herself.
There is a quote I often see all over Instagram and Pinterest but it is a perfect depiction of this concept:
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
Truer words have never been spoken.
When we doubt ourselves and our abilities every situation we put ourselves in has the potential to be a threat, to be scary, to be a failure.
When we doubt ourselves, we constantly question our ability to be successful and to achieve our goals.
When we doubt ourselves, we often avoid even trying anything new due to fear of failure.
Self-doubt leads us to a life of stress, fear, anxiety, and honestly quite often self-sabotage.
Failure is not some big scary thing that will ruin our lives.
Failures are actually opportunities.
It is how you respond to failure that determines your future success or failure in life.
So, what is the right way to respond to failure?
You guessed it, confidence, which as discussed, is really very simply, believing in yourself.
Confidence is essential to every aspect of life.
It enables us to reach for our goals, try new things, and be successful.
It protects us from self-doubt and provides us with the proper tools to face life’s challenges and opportunities.
Confidence comes from believing in yourself no matter what life throws at you.
You are your greatest resource and the way you think about yourself and your abilities is what will make you stand out the most.
Your mindset is the only thing standing in the way of you achieving your goals.
It is what will make you either quietly self-doubting or fearlessly confident.
Change your mindset to change your life.
You are your greatest asset.
Believe in yourself.
Be fearlessly confident.
Thanks for reading!
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